Be Happy

On a recent visit to my parent’s house, I spent some time one evening with my Dad and one of my dad’s friends. He’s a family friend that I’ve known all of my life. We sat outside and talked for several hours over a few beers. (Ok, he did most of the talking and I listened, but it was in listening that I gained a wealth of knowledge) As we sat and talked he said something to me that had a deep affect on me and that I continuously repeat to myself daily. He said, “I’m happy, because I choose to be.” That sounds pretty simple right? That is simple, but yet incredibly powerful stuff. My friend said to me, "I control my attitude not the things around me or the things that happen around me. It’s not that I don’t care about the things that happen. I care, but it’s not going to control who I am and how I feel.”

Life is too short to be negative and unhappy. So, from this day forward, I will be happy. I will be happy because I chose to be.

New Year...2009

Wow! What a difference a year makes. Who knew so much could happen in twelve little months. I started 2008 in a relationship but ended the year single. In 2008 I managed to get a new job. Which was a good thing seeing how I wasn’t sure how I was going to keep paying my bills after not making any money at all with the recruiting business that I was trying to get off the ground. I also managed to become a grandfather in 2008. Yes that’s right. Laugh now. I’m a 36 yr old grandfather thanks to my oldest son Christopher. Speaking of, in 2008 I also became the proud father of a United States Marine! Also at the beginning of 2008 I seemed to have a pretty good idea of what I wanted to do with my life and here we are at the beginning of 2009 and I’m back to having no clue. I’ve thought about making resolutions this year...or more appropriately, setting goals for myself for 2009. But, I’ve been having a hard time trying to set some. Setting goals is not usually a problem for me, so this has taken me aback recently. First and foremost I know that I want to continue my goal of constantly trying to improve myself each and every day. Even if it’s just in some little way like learning something new or trying to be a better parent, or something along those lines. I think in 2009 I want to make sure that I complete my teacher certification coursework. Maybe look at seriously starting grad school somewhere. Clay is finishing up his Junior year of high school and starting his Senior year in 2009. So, I think one of my goals is to make sure that I spend as much quality time with him as I possibly can this year. I promised him that we’d try to go to more concerts this year. So I guess one of my other goals would be to attend more rock concerts with Clay in 2009. I’d like to write more. I love to write. And most of the time my blog posts are more pieces of my writing rather than just thoughts and journal entries. So, I guess another goal will be to try and write more in 2009. I did pretty well at working out and getting back into shape in 2008. I think another goal will be to continue with that and kick it up to the next level. I’m better off than I was at the beginning of 2008, but not where I want to be. Wow, this goal list is shaping up nicely after sitting down and putting things down on paper. I also think that I will use 2009 to get back in touch with and stay in touch with old friends that I have reacquainted myself with in the latter half of 2008. Maybe even make a few trips out of town to visit with those friends that have managed to scatter themselves all around the state and the country. Cool, another goal; travel to visit friends out of town. Ok, I think I’ll stop there before I get too much ahead of myself and set too many goals. So, lets recap: Continue daily self improvement, complete certification coursework, seriously look at starting grad school, spend more quality time with Clay, attend more rock concerts with Clay, write more, continue to exercise and increase intensity level, stay in touch with friends better and travel to see them more often. Oh, and last but not least….advance to “HARD” or “EXPERT” on the drums on Rockband 2!!!!

Thanksgiving

This past week we just celebrated Thanksgiving. I’m sure most of us were busy with family, food and festivities. But how many of us actually sat down and gave serious thought to the real reason for the holiday; to give thanks for what we have in our lives? I thought about it a lot over the long weekend and wanted to just jot down some of the things that I’m thankful for. I have much to be thankful for. Sometimes I forget that in my narrow view of what I DON’T have.

I’m thankful for having an amazing family. I’m thankful for my loving parents who are always there for me and for my wonderful “little“ sister who is always there to lend an ear or offer advice when I need it. I have 2 incredibly beautiful nieces and an awesome nephew, whom I don’t get to see enough of and that I love and miss bunches! I’m thankful for having two great kids. I’m so proud of Christopher for serving our country in the Marine Corps during this time of global uncertainty and war. He is part of a larger group of young men and women that provide for our security daily, and for that I am thankful! I also have an amazing 16 yr old at home that I am equally proud of! Clay has grown up so much and it’s a joy to watch him mature and grow into a fine young man. He has been shouldering the responsibility of a job since this summer. He has been there when I have needed him to help out in more ways than one; without complaining as a lot of teenagers tend to do when they are asked to do something that doesn’t necessarily benefit them. I know so many parents have to deal with so many problems when it comes to their kids, and I am so very thankful that the biggest problem I have to deal with is a kid with a messy room. (But he cleans it up when I ask him to, for the most part) I am so very thankful that I have had the privilege of meeting my grandson, Zach. He is a beautiful, happy, healthy baby. For that I am VERY thankful. I’m thankful for my friends who are there for me when I need someone to talk to or just hang out with when I’m bored, in need of a good time, or in need of cheering up. My friends keep me sane and grounded, and for that I will always be thankful. I’m thankful that I have a job this year when so many people are out of work. I’m thankful for my state of mind and the place that I am currently at in my life. There have been many ups and downs in the past, but I am learning to be thankful for all of it, of it is those experiences that shape who I am and who I will become.

This is just a small list of the people and things that I am thankful for in my life right now. I hope that I continue to give thanks for all of my blessings each and every day, not just on Thanksgiving once a year.

Don't Call It A Comeback!

I'm not sure if you know this or not, but I've been in a bit of a slump lately; for the last 4 or 5 months to be more precise. I was beating myself up about the way things were going in my life. Mainly I was down because my business hadn't produced the way I had hoped it would. That setback really shook my confidence. If you know me at all, you know that I am a confident person; more so than most. I have been blessed by God to possess a great confidence in myself and my abilities. Of course, you might not have known that by looking at me and talking to me the last few months. That lack of confidence was affecting who I am as a person. NO MORE!

With each passing day I feel myself walking taller. I see myself with my head held higher. I AM getting my swagger back. Why you might ask? Because THAT'S who I am! I am looking at things in my life for what they are. They are the things that make me stronger. They are the things that make me who I am. Setbacks and failed attempts are learning experiences. They are only failures if you stop trying. I will not stop trying! I will be successful at WHATEVER I decide to do in my life. I will have the nice house! I will have the nice cars! I will have everything that I want, both personally and professionally! How do I know that I will have all of this? Because I have decided that I will! I have learned in my life that I can do anything that I put my mind to. I just have to stick to it and NOT give up!

Each and every day I pray to God to give me the strength to continue on and to not give in to setbacks. And my friends, God has listened to my prayers. With each passing day he has allowed me to see deep inside myself, to the man that I truly am. The confident, successful man that is at the heart of WHO I AM!

If you have asked yourself, “I wonder what’s wrong with Troy?” You no longer have to wonder. Because I’M BACK BABY!!!

Phones and Text Messages

So, I spent the better part of the last week without the ability to receive text messages from anyone. Turns out the only people that actually call me to TALK on my phone are my parents. It should go without saying that my phone was VERY quiet the last 6 days. So it got me thinking. Has the way we communicate with each other evolved into something that is good or bad?

I realized this week that I really don’t remember what some of my friends sound like anymore because I never TALK to them. We always carry on text conversations. I mean, it’s great to be able to carry on a “conversation” and still be able to do other things and not have to devote your complete attention to the other person. But then again, you’re not devoting your complete attention to that other person. Doesn’t that in and of itself take away a little bit of the “conversation” part of the equation. We’ve gotten so busy in our every day lives that we’ve managed to reduce significant interaction with those that we care about to a few lines of text. I mean, think about it. We got so busy that instead of visiting friends to have face to face conversations with them, we started making phone calls so that we could “save some time”. Then we took out the voice interaction completely with email, shortly followed by instant messaging; both great time savers and multi tasking enhancers. Now we manage to have conversations using only our thumbs on mobile devices. We don't even have to be in one place any more to compose a messaeg to someone else. What’s next? Is technology going to advance in some way that we can send our thoughts telepathically to someone so that we don’t have to be bothered with typing? Don’t get me wrong, I love texting. I love being able to carry on multiple conversations at once or to be able to carry on a conversation without really stopping whatever it is that I’m doing. But, at what cost? Are we losing some bit of connectivity with the other side of the conversation? It’s hard to judge tone in a text message. Even over the phone you can hear inflections in another person’s voice even if you can’t see their facial expressions or read their body language. Does not having that ability cheapen the conversation any? Does it somehow make it less of a real conversation?

I think as a culture our ways of communicating have changed and evolved, but the most important thing to remember is that we still seek out that communication; in whatever form. I have to admit I felt isolated and alone without the ability to receive regular communication from my friends, and that was only for a 6 day period. I think I’m going to make an effort to call my friends more often s o that I don’t have to say that I can’t remember what their voices sound like, but I doubt that I’ll abandon texting all together. I mean, come on it is pretty dang convenient.

Growing Up

I remember thinking to myself when I was a kid that I didn't ever want to grow up. I think I might have even made a wish or two for that very thing, to never grow up. Or maybe it was just a wish to never grow old. Either way, here I am at 36 yrs old and, guess what, I still haven't grown up; not really anyway. I still feel like that 20something year old kid that didn't have a clue as to what he wanted to do with his life. I still play video games and play on myspace more than I do anything else, besides watch TV. I would still rather stay up all night and sleep in. Cereal for dinner is still a viable option some nights when I don't feel like cooking.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not immature or childish. I just don't "FEEL" like I've grown up. I can "ACT" grown up and I can make grown up decisions, but it sometimes feels like that's what it is, an ACT. Perhaps feeling this way is a sign that it's time for me to "grow up". Maybe it's like an adiction. Admitting that you have a problem is the first step. Or maybe it has something to do with where I live. I always used to joke around by saying that I lived in "Never Never Land." Living in a college town, you don't ever HAVE to grow up if you dont want to. The majority of the population of this town never gets older. As they get older, the move away and a fresh new group comes in to replace them. Hmmm, I wonder if I'll grow up instantly if I were to move somewhere outside of College Station. Probably not, but it might be worth a shot. Either way, I think it's time to start thinking of moving out of College Station.

As I'm writing this blog, I keep hearing that song from the old Toys R Us commercials..."I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R Us kid..."

Each day I find myself still wondering what it is that I want to do or be when I grow up. I've had lots of different jobs since I left the military. I'd like to say that I was like Shawn Spencer from the TV show Psych and that I took each of those jobs because I wanted the experience and once I had mastered them, I moved on. Maybe its because I have ADHD that I get bored with jobs easily. I think it all just boils down to not really knowing what it is that I want to do with my life.

I know I want to be happy with my life in general. First and foremost as far as a job is concerned, I want to be happy and satisfied with my work. My mom says that most people don't like thier jobs and that its just a way to make money to pay your bills; you don't have to like it. That's probably true, but I don't think its a rule. So, I'm probably gonna keep trying to figure out what job will make me happy. I've started to pray for guidance in this quest. I feel as though I'm being "pushed" in the direction of teaching. By "pushed" I mean that I feel as though I'm being guided towards teaching. So, I'm seriously considering getting my teaching certification to teach high school speech. But, in the mean time I had to go out and get a "real job". And of course by "real job" I mean one that actually pays. And, it's definitely just that, a job. It's definitely not a career. It'll do for now until I can decide what I want to be when I grow up.

Maybe tomorrow night I'll sit outside and wait for that first star to appear so that I can make a wish to grow up, or better yet, just go find one of those fortune telling arcade machine things and wish to "be big."

"I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R Us kid..."

I guess what they say is true. Be careful what you wish for.

How Do You See Things?

I read this story today in a blog and wanted to share it with you along with my personal interpretation.

There were two shoe salesmen who traveled to a third world country in search of new business opportunities.
One man called his wife the moment he landed, telling her, “Honey, I’m coming back home. There’s no hope here. Nobody here is wearing shoes, so there’s no one to sell to.” He boarded the next flight home.
The second man called his wife and said, “Honey, you wouldn’t believe what I found here. There is so much opportunity. No one here is wearing shoes. I can sell to the whole country!”

We always hear clichés like, “when you are given lemons, make lemonade” or “you have to play the cards you’re dealt.” Often people will ask if you see the glass half empty or half full. Your personal perception of the situation you find yourself in, whatever that situation is, will determine the outcome. God often gives us opportunities to grow and become better people. Some people forge ahead in the face of difficult times or challenges, and come out on the other end better for having done so; even if they previously thought that they weren’t up to the challenge. There are others that will see the obstacles, determine that they are insurmountable, and just give up.

God never gives us more than we can handle. Sometimes, we need reminding of that. I know that I do. We also need to remember that with the help of God, all things are possible. I also need to be reminded of this from time to time. I need to remember to sometimes let go, ask for God’s help, and be open to His solution. So, I leave you with one last “cliché”: If God brings you to it, He will see you through it.