When I was young and growing up I had a lot of goals and dreams. I would think about all the things that I wanted to accomplish in my lifetime. When I was leaving high school I still had a lot of goals and thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do and where I wanted my life to go. Then life happens and you lose your way a little bit, or veer off course. I remember when I was 25 I was starting a new chapter in my life and in my first year at A&M and I thought to myself, "AH HA. This is where things turn around and I get everything that I've wanted for my life." Wrong! I learned a lot between 25 and 30, and had some ups and downs along the way, but I still wasn't where I thought I should be. Then when I was 30 I thought, “Ok, NOW I know what I want to do and where I want to go.” Wrong again! I've struggled for the last 5 years in trying to learn who I am, what it is that I really want to do, and where it is that I really want my life to go. My 35th year is almost complete and now I'm FINALLY realizing it's not about where I want to be or where I want to go with my life that is the important thing. Sure, goals and dreams and wanting to better yourself and your situation for you and your family are very important. But the MOST important thing, at least as I have finally come to realize it, is that you surrender yourself to GOD's plan for WHAT you should do and WHERE you should be. Once you understand that, God has a wonderful way of putting things in place for you and placing the people in your life to help you achieve the life that HE wants for you.
I’m a smart guy. If you ask anyone that knows me, they might even tell you that I’m too smart (at least for my own good sometimes). But, even I’m smart enough to know that I’m not smarter than GOD. Who am I to say that what I want for me is better than what God wants for me? I’ll take God’s plan for me over my own plan for myself every day of the week and twice on Sunday.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Alone
I woke up this morning to a shocking realization. Although, it shouldn't have come as a shock to me, since it should have been painfully obvious. What was this shocking revelation? I woke up this morning realizing that I am alone; truly alone. Now, don't confuse this with being "lonely". For one can be lonely in a room full of people. I am saying that I am alone…isolated.
I once had lots of friends surrounding me; people that I worked with and went out with fairly regularly. In college I had classmates and other friends that I hung out with outside of the classroom. In the Navy I had my buddies that I hung out while we are off duty. But now there is no one. I guess I should ad a caveat to this statement in that I do have the company of my 16 year old son on a daily basis. So, in that aspect I am not LITERALLY alone. However, one might argue that it's a bit unusual and perhaps odd that my only companion is my 16 year old son. In the words of Clay himself, "when you think about it, that's a little bit pathetic." And, I guess it is pathetic. Now, I have family. They are all 3 hours away, at least. I get to see them once every several months. I have a girlfriend. But she isn't much closer at 2 hours away. I see her just slightly more often than I see my family.
How did I get to this place in my life where I have isolated myself from any close friends or companions? I guess that is the question that I am asking myself. As I look back I wonder what happened to all the friends that I have had over the years. Well, I didn't stay in touch with too many people from high school after I left for the Navy 13 days after graduation. They all moved on with their lives. And my Navy buddies stayed behind when I left the Navy and came home. I've stayed in touch with one though. He was my best friend back in those days. Now, we email occasionally and sometimes even talk on the phone. All my college friends graduated, moved, moved on, found significant others, gotten married, or any combination of thereof. A few of the really important friends from back then email every now and again, but I can honestly say that I haven't seen a single one of them in a few years. I still think of them as my closest friends, but the reality is that they are close friends from a previous time in my life. The same is similar for work friends that I have made since leaving college. For most of them, once you leave the job the "friendship" ends. If it does continue, rarely does it involve anything more than emails, myspace, or the occasional text message or phone call.
I guess I'm not good at making new friends. Oh, I have the skills and personality to make new friends. I think I choose to not make new friends. Maybe it's because I fear that they will just end up like my other friends…just names in an email address book.
I wonder if there is some deeper psychology behind this. Maybe stemming from an early childhood of military life where friends came and went as fathers and mothers were transferred to other bases. Back then you were lucky to have the same friends from school year to school year. But, I would think that those experiences would have made me better equipped to make new friends easily.
Maybe it's been the lack of financial stability and disposable income that has helped to isolate me. I mean, you can't have friends if you never go out with anyone when they invite you.
I guess it doesn't matter why. The fact still remains that I'm alone. Maybe when I start to earn some big money with my business I'll be able to afford to travel and reconnect with old friends. Maybe I'll be able to afford to go out and do things, meet new people and forge new friendships. I guess that's just one more reason why I need to make this business successful; because I don't want to be alone forever.
I once had lots of friends surrounding me; people that I worked with and went out with fairly regularly. In college I had classmates and other friends that I hung out with outside of the classroom. In the Navy I had my buddies that I hung out while we are off duty. But now there is no one. I guess I should ad a caveat to this statement in that I do have the company of my 16 year old son on a daily basis. So, in that aspect I am not LITERALLY alone. However, one might argue that it's a bit unusual and perhaps odd that my only companion is my 16 year old son. In the words of Clay himself, "when you think about it, that's a little bit pathetic." And, I guess it is pathetic. Now, I have family. They are all 3 hours away, at least. I get to see them once every several months. I have a girlfriend. But she isn't much closer at 2 hours away. I see her just slightly more often than I see my family.
How did I get to this place in my life where I have isolated myself from any close friends or companions? I guess that is the question that I am asking myself. As I look back I wonder what happened to all the friends that I have had over the years. Well, I didn't stay in touch with too many people from high school after I left for the Navy 13 days after graduation. They all moved on with their lives. And my Navy buddies stayed behind when I left the Navy and came home. I've stayed in touch with one though. He was my best friend back in those days. Now, we email occasionally and sometimes even talk on the phone. All my college friends graduated, moved, moved on, found significant others, gotten married, or any combination of thereof. A few of the really important friends from back then email every now and again, but I can honestly say that I haven't seen a single one of them in a few years. I still think of them as my closest friends, but the reality is that they are close friends from a previous time in my life. The same is similar for work friends that I have made since leaving college. For most of them, once you leave the job the "friendship" ends. If it does continue, rarely does it involve anything more than emails, myspace, or the occasional text message or phone call.
I guess I'm not good at making new friends. Oh, I have the skills and personality to make new friends. I think I choose to not make new friends. Maybe it's because I fear that they will just end up like my other friends…just names in an email address book.
I wonder if there is some deeper psychology behind this. Maybe stemming from an early childhood of military life where friends came and went as fathers and mothers were transferred to other bases. Back then you were lucky to have the same friends from school year to school year. But, I would think that those experiences would have made me better equipped to make new friends easily.
Maybe it's been the lack of financial stability and disposable income that has helped to isolate me. I mean, you can't have friends if you never go out with anyone when they invite you.
I guess it doesn't matter why. The fact still remains that I'm alone. Maybe when I start to earn some big money with my business I'll be able to afford to travel and reconnect with old friends. Maybe I'll be able to afford to go out and do things, meet new people and forge new friendships. I guess that's just one more reason why I need to make this business successful; because I don't want to be alone forever.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Losing Focus
I guess from time to time we all lose focus; at least I do. That's what has recently happened to me. I lost my focus. Well, that's not entirely true. What happened is that I started to focus on the wrong things. Instead of focusing on where I want to be and where I want to go in my life, I started to focus on the negatives. I started to focus on what I didn't want. I started to pay attention to all the things that are going and have gone wrong in my life. Then, it seems that things just started to snowball from there.
It's true that whatever you focus on you, you get more of. In my business, I've been so focused lately on how I haven't made a placement that I almost forgot how much I enjoy having the freedom of working for myself and how much I enjoy the challenge of trying to find that one person that is needed to fill that position. i've forgotten that this is my dream. If I focus on the joys of my work, then the rest will eventually take care of itself.
I must remember to keep focused on what I want and why I want it. If I do that, the opportunities to achieve it all will present themselves. I must remember that everything happens on time, every time. When you stop and focus on the wrong things, you just get more of it.
It's true that whatever you focus on you, you get more of. In my business, I've been so focused lately on how I haven't made a placement that I almost forgot how much I enjoy having the freedom of working for myself and how much I enjoy the challenge of trying to find that one person that is needed to fill that position. i've forgotten that this is my dream. If I focus on the joys of my work, then the rest will eventually take care of itself.
I must remember to keep focused on what I want and why I want it. If I do that, the opportunities to achieve it all will present themselves. I must remember that everything happens on time, every time. When you stop and focus on the wrong things, you just get more of it.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Are you a farmer?
Ok, I took a little two week break from posting anything on my blog. Mainly because I didn't want to just throw some filler up here. If I'm going to post something, I want it to be substantive. So here you go.
Many of my past blog posts have dealt with having a vision of what you want. That is a very important aspects of achieving your goals and desires. However, that is not the only thing that you need to do. If that is all it took, everyone would have everything that they wanted. If all you have is a vision but that's it, you're nothing more than a day dreamer. The world is full of day dreamers. Action is required on your part. That's right, you're going to have to actually get up off your butt and DO something to achieve your dreams and goals.
You might be asking, "What do I need to do Troy?" First off, you need to be open to what the universe gives you. All the answers are out there in the universe. If you listen closely, you'll get the answers. That little voice inside of you that says do this or don't do that. That gut feeling that urges you to take action on this or hold off on that. THAT is the universe giving you answers. THAT's the universe telling you what you need to do. You're job, is to listen and take action. Inaction will guarantee that you will never achieve your goals.
Let me explain it to you another way. Let's say that you are a farmer. You plant a seed in the ground. If you just walk away and do nothing else, is it reasonable to expect that you will have something to harvest? No. Of course not. You're job as a farmer is to water the seed, provide it care, make sure no weeds steal the nutrients that the plant needs, etc. IF you do your job as a farmer, you WILL be able to harvest the fruit. Your goal or desire is the seed. When you clearly define it, you plant that seed. If that is all you do, there will be nothing for you to harvest…not now, not ever. But if you stay focused on that goal, listen to the universe, take the appropriate actions KNOWING that those actions are getting you closer to your goal. You WILL have that goal or desire to harvest when the time is right.
Many of my past blog posts have dealt with having a vision of what you want. That is a very important aspects of achieving your goals and desires. However, that is not the only thing that you need to do. If that is all it took, everyone would have everything that they wanted. If all you have is a vision but that's it, you're nothing more than a day dreamer. The world is full of day dreamers. Action is required on your part. That's right, you're going to have to actually get up off your butt and DO something to achieve your dreams and goals.
You might be asking, "What do I need to do Troy?" First off, you need to be open to what the universe gives you. All the answers are out there in the universe. If you listen closely, you'll get the answers. That little voice inside of you that says do this or don't do that. That gut feeling that urges you to take action on this or hold off on that. THAT is the universe giving you answers. THAT's the universe telling you what you need to do. You're job, is to listen and take action. Inaction will guarantee that you will never achieve your goals.
Let me explain it to you another way. Let's say that you are a farmer. You plant a seed in the ground. If you just walk away and do nothing else, is it reasonable to expect that you will have something to harvest? No. Of course not. You're job as a farmer is to water the seed, provide it care, make sure no weeds steal the nutrients that the plant needs, etc. IF you do your job as a farmer, you WILL be able to harvest the fruit. Your goal or desire is the seed. When you clearly define it, you plant that seed. If that is all you do, there will be nothing for you to harvest…not now, not ever. But if you stay focused on that goal, listen to the universe, take the appropriate actions KNOWING that those actions are getting you closer to your goal. You WILL have that goal or desire to harvest when the time is right.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Why Am I Here?
Have you ever wondered what your "purpose" is? I'm sure it's safe to say that just about all of us have, at one time or another, asked this very question. I know that I have asked this question countless numbers of times; to myself, to others, to God. And, it wasn't until relatively recently that I came to understand what my purpose was; what it is that I was meant to do on this earth.
Before I go ahead and give you the insight on my grand revelation, let me give you a little history about my quest in finding my "purpose". For as long as I can remember, I have thought that my purpose in life was to help and protect others. That is one of the main reasons why I joined the military when I left high school. It's also the reason that I applied numerous times with numerous law enforcement agencies after I left the Navy. For those of you that know me well, you know that it's the reason that I spent several years trying to get back into the military following 9/11. When I was unable to reenter the military for numerous reasons, it's the reason that I sought out other ways to "help" people. I worked as a case manager for a housing program for the homeless for a while. That was rewarding, but eventually the rewards became less and less. So I decided to try my hand as an adult probation officer. That sounded like a great job, I got to help people AND help protect the community. But eventually, that too began to provide me with less and less personal satisfaction. However, as luck would have it, it was right around the time that I started to notice less and less personal satisfaction as a probation officer that I learned why I was here; what I was meant to do.
Are you ready for the revelation? Drum roll please…. What I was meant to do, what you are meant to do, is to be happy. That's it. Seems simple enough doesn't it? Your purpose in life is to do what ever makes you happy. Man's purpose in life is to live the most abundant, full and happy life possible. It seems simple, yet so many of us spend our lives trying to find our "purpose." Many of us let the true purpose of our lives slip by in pursuit of something "greater." But I ask you this, what can be greater than fulfilling your true life's purpose.
Before I go ahead and give you the insight on my grand revelation, let me give you a little history about my quest in finding my "purpose". For as long as I can remember, I have thought that my purpose in life was to help and protect others. That is one of the main reasons why I joined the military when I left high school. It's also the reason that I applied numerous times with numerous law enforcement agencies after I left the Navy. For those of you that know me well, you know that it's the reason that I spent several years trying to get back into the military following 9/11. When I was unable to reenter the military for numerous reasons, it's the reason that I sought out other ways to "help" people. I worked as a case manager for a housing program for the homeless for a while. That was rewarding, but eventually the rewards became less and less. So I decided to try my hand as an adult probation officer. That sounded like a great job, I got to help people AND help protect the community. But eventually, that too began to provide me with less and less personal satisfaction. However, as luck would have it, it was right around the time that I started to notice less and less personal satisfaction as a probation officer that I learned why I was here; what I was meant to do.
Are you ready for the revelation? Drum roll please…. What I was meant to do, what you are meant to do, is to be happy. That's it. Seems simple enough doesn't it? Your purpose in life is to do what ever makes you happy. Man's purpose in life is to live the most abundant, full and happy life possible. It seems simple, yet so many of us spend our lives trying to find our "purpose." Many of us let the true purpose of our lives slip by in pursuit of something "greater." But I ask you this, what can be greater than fulfilling your true life's purpose.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Do you believe?
Wow, did you see the Super Bowl game last night? What a good game. Since my beloved Cowboys were out of it, I had just hoped to see a good game, and I definitely wasn't disappointed. This morning when I was thinking about it a little bit more, I realized that I came away with some very powerful thoughts after watching the game.
First, I am greatly reminded to NEVER underestimate the power of believing in yourself, your abilities, and what you can have and accomplish. All of the so called experts and professional prognosticators gave the NY Giants little hope of even making a game of this much less a chance to actually win. But the Giants didn't buy in to that. Why? I'll tell you why. I'm sure that every player, coach, and trainer, to a man, believed in themselves, their teammates, and their desire and ability to win and hoist that Lombardi Trophy in celebration. I can promise you that each of them pictured that moment in their mind; the moment after the win when they could hold that trophy up high. I bet each of them could actually feel what it would feel like when they won. It was that emotion coupled with their desire and unwavering belief that produced the victory. When interviewed after the win, Eli Manning said that they believed that they could win, even when it seemed that no one else in the country did. The Giants were a wild card team. They weren't supposed to even make to the Super Bowl much less win; according the all the experts. Remember what I've said before? It doesn't matter what your background or where you come from. No one puts limitations on you except for you.
Secondly, I think about the Patriots pursuit of excellence and the perfect season. I'm sure that none of the New England players were thinking they would lose last night. Even with less than a minute to play in the game, quarterback Tom Brady appeared to be cool, calm and faithful that they would win. Unfortunately for Tom and the rest of the New England players, the game of football has a clock that determines when play stops. New England didn't walk away with their first loss of the season because they quit or didn't have a desire to win; they merely ran out of time on the game clock. Lucky for us the "game" of life lasts a little bit longer than 60 minutes. But, there is a time limit on life, just like there is on a football game. Do you want to wait until the clock is winding down on your life to act? The time to act is now. The only time that we live in is NOW. There is no tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes.
Whatever it is that you want; whatever it is that you desire; YOU CAN HAVE IT. You just have to see it, believe it, and feel it in your heart. Don't believe me? Just ask Eli Manning and the rest of the NY Giants.
First, I am greatly reminded to NEVER underestimate the power of believing in yourself, your abilities, and what you can have and accomplish. All of the so called experts and professional prognosticators gave the NY Giants little hope of even making a game of this much less a chance to actually win. But the Giants didn't buy in to that. Why? I'll tell you why. I'm sure that every player, coach, and trainer, to a man, believed in themselves, their teammates, and their desire and ability to win and hoist that Lombardi Trophy in celebration. I can promise you that each of them pictured that moment in their mind; the moment after the win when they could hold that trophy up high. I bet each of them could actually feel what it would feel like when they won. It was that emotion coupled with their desire and unwavering belief that produced the victory. When interviewed after the win, Eli Manning said that they believed that they could win, even when it seemed that no one else in the country did. The Giants were a wild card team. They weren't supposed to even make to the Super Bowl much less win; according the all the experts. Remember what I've said before? It doesn't matter what your background or where you come from. No one puts limitations on you except for you.
Secondly, I think about the Patriots pursuit of excellence and the perfect season. I'm sure that none of the New England players were thinking they would lose last night. Even with less than a minute to play in the game, quarterback Tom Brady appeared to be cool, calm and faithful that they would win. Unfortunately for Tom and the rest of the New England players, the game of football has a clock that determines when play stops. New England didn't walk away with their first loss of the season because they quit or didn't have a desire to win; they merely ran out of time on the game clock. Lucky for us the "game" of life lasts a little bit longer than 60 minutes. But, there is a time limit on life, just like there is on a football game. Do you want to wait until the clock is winding down on your life to act? The time to act is now. The only time that we live in is NOW. There is no tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes.
Whatever it is that you want; whatever it is that you desire; YOU CAN HAVE IT. You just have to see it, believe it, and feel it in your heart. Don't believe me? Just ask Eli Manning and the rest of the NY Giants.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Do you feel it and believe it?
Success in life has little to do with being in the right place at the right time. It has everything to do with unwavering faith. Unwavering faith in yourself and in whatever it is that you seek to have or achieve. Most of my writings over the last couple of weeks have been alluding to success on a monetary plane. I want to let you know that this applies to ALL areas of your life.
Anyone that knows me personally knows that I have had my share of "bad relationships." But those that know me well will also be able to tell you that I have always had a deep desire to have a meaningful relationship with a very special woman. I didn't have a specific woman in mind. I didn't set out to be with person X or person Y. But, I have always hoped that I would meet the woman of my dreams. It's when I started truly believing that I would meet the woman of my dreams that the Universe began to put things in motion to accommodate my thoughts and feelings. I continued to believe in my heart that the woman of my dreams was coming into my life. The Universe responded; and she did.
Now, here is another one of the tricky parts. You have to know when and how to accept what it is that the Universe is giving you. I almost missed it. I let my own fears and stupid hang ups almost get in the way. BUT, lucky for me the Universe is much smarter than I am. The Universe knows what's in your heart and in your mind. Presto! In spite of myself, I managed to attract the attention of the most amazing and wonderful woman in the world. Why, because I believed in my heart that I deserved to be loved and had faith that I was going to share that love with the woman of my dreams.
When you start to think that you don't deserve love; when you start to think that love doesn't exist; when you start to believe that you will never find the person that is meant for you…. The Universe can do nothing but align itself to meet your heartfelt beliefs.
If you want to find the love of your life, start thinking, believing, and feeling in your heart that he or she is out there making their way into your life. If you think it and believe it in your heart; the Universe has no choice but to make it so.
Think it. Feel it and believe it. Have it!
Anyone that knows me personally knows that I have had my share of "bad relationships." But those that know me well will also be able to tell you that I have always had a deep desire to have a meaningful relationship with a very special woman. I didn't have a specific woman in mind. I didn't set out to be with person X or person Y. But, I have always hoped that I would meet the woman of my dreams. It's when I started truly believing that I would meet the woman of my dreams that the Universe began to put things in motion to accommodate my thoughts and feelings. I continued to believe in my heart that the woman of my dreams was coming into my life. The Universe responded; and she did.
Now, here is another one of the tricky parts. You have to know when and how to accept what it is that the Universe is giving you. I almost missed it. I let my own fears and stupid hang ups almost get in the way. BUT, lucky for me the Universe is much smarter than I am. The Universe knows what's in your heart and in your mind. Presto! In spite of myself, I managed to attract the attention of the most amazing and wonderful woman in the world. Why, because I believed in my heart that I deserved to be loved and had faith that I was going to share that love with the woman of my dreams.
When you start to think that you don't deserve love; when you start to think that love doesn't exist; when you start to believe that you will never find the person that is meant for you…. The Universe can do nothing but align itself to meet your heartfelt beliefs.
If you want to find the love of your life, start thinking, believing, and feeling in your heart that he or she is out there making their way into your life. If you think it and believe it in your heart; the Universe has no choice but to make it so.
Think it. Feel it and believe it. Have it!
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